i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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