if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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