There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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