My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
