I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
