Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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