Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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