Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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