Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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