people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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