Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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