He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
