I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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