I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Randomize
