Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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