I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
