my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i will never coherently bang her
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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