We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
