And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
