if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
