Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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