i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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