i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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