you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize