garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
