My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Couch. On fire.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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