You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
