i need an iv and a liver transplant
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
