you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
