We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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