Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
