Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
