Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
