What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
