Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
