I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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