Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
how drunk are you?
Several
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
