i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
