its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
