Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
