I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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