Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
