Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
