You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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