Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
