So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
