shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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