I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
