I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
