i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
