i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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