Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
