You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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