the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
babies were throwing up all over the place
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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