Do vagina's smell?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
