You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
