and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
