I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize